I am alive!

The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind.

- G. K. Chesterton

So,  I moved to Newfoundland back in July, and have been trying to take good care of myself without crazy diets or obsessing. So far I’ve dropped to 149, which is the lowest my weight has been since middle school. I’m also down to a size 28 in jeans (29 for trendy brands), which is also the smallest I’ve been since middle school.

I’ve been going to dance classes three times a week (ballet on Tuesday, jazz on Thursday, and hip hop on Sunday), as well as yoga when I feel like it and eating clean most of the time. I allow myself small treats (like bread and olive oil for a snack, or a piece of chocolate cake once in a while), but I try to eat clean most of the time. I’m hoping to lose another ten pounds by the time I go home for winter break. I think it’s doable.

Here’s what a food day typically consists of for me:

Breakfast:
Overnight oats: 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1/2 cup soymilk, a handful of berries, half a banana, 1/3 cup of yogurt, drizzle of agave, 1 serving of protein powder and a glob of peanut butter (“recipe” courtesy of Eat, Live, Run).

Snack 1:
Three dried apricots and 9 almonds, a glass of 50/50 plain 0-fat kefir and unsweetened, low-acid OJ with a drizzle of agave.

Lunch:
Veggie ground round, Allegro cheese (lactose-free, low fat) sautéed in 1/2 tsp of extra virgin olive oil with a handful (each) of farmer’s market antique tomatoes, baby spinach, broccoli, and zucchini with hot sauce and sea salt.

Snack 2:
Organic millet rice cake with 1 Tbsp natural peanut butter and sugar-free jam (no artificial sweeteners! It’s all fruit) and a sprinkle of coconut flake.

Supper:
1/2 a small squash, roasted, with 1/2 cup of chickpeas tossed with 1 tsp of olive, an ounce of shredded Allegro cheese, fresh basil and sea salt, an apple on the side.

Bedtime treat:
1/2 cup light vanilla soy milk and 2 Tbsp cocoa powder warmed on the oven with a drizzle of agave.

So, as you can see, I am not starving! It’s all just good, natural foods. And it’s so fulfilling! Although I have yet to conquer my emotional eating… When I am sad I eat chocolate out the wazoo. Still, things are better and I’m making progress. Just thought I’d let y’all know, because I’m still getting about a dozen hits a day, and I feel bad for not actually, you know, having anything for anyone to look at.

looking good naked

British to American size conversion: Anna 8/10, Tillie 4/6, Caroline 12/14.

So, I was perusing the spam comments I get, and (as usual) they were all about “(random celebrity) nude!” And it got me thinking… How does one look good naked? I mean, the obvious answer is to just look good, to be in shape, et cetera. Obviously. But I have a ways to go before I meet that critera. I wanted to know how to feel your best naked, without getting drunk. Yup.

Carson’s television show aside, there’s actually a really helpful article up on Wikihow that gives some good, wholesome advice. Suggestion include not stuffing yourself right before you strip, standing up straight, taking good are of your skin and feeling pretty. Check it out.

That;s a good start, but I want to know how I can feel good naked. Saying, “Be confident!” isn’t helpful. When you know what you look like, and it’s not the models in FHM, how do you feel sexy, or even romotely attractive?

Laure Redmond, a self-esteem coach, had this to say:

I mean that it can be really helpful to reconnect to a time when you weren’t always blaming yourself — when you believed in and loved yourself. And for many women, that time will turn out to be back in childhood. [...] Even if your childhood was a total nightmare, the fact is you were a creature with enough gusto to get where you are today. Many women accept the opinions and judgments of others too quickly, which undermines self-esteem and personal power. But women who feel good naked have the ability to tap into their own source of self-love, without depending on the affirmations of others. A woman who feels good naked is a woman who’s discovered her own definition of beauty. She knows that it’s ultimately about personal attitude.

I think that’s good advice. I’ve always been a big fan of nakedness. I walk(ed) around my house naked constantly (not as easy to do, now). I’m happy naked. But I don’t really think of it as anything special. Maybe that what needs to change. Being naked should be an experience, even with a less-than-perfect body. I think I need to focus on the freedom of the act.

Tentative plan: be naked in the new apartment at least once per day! …once I get there.

And moisturise.

epic fail

So, yeah, I failed. On all counts! This was a bad week. :/ I’m going to try again. I had a good breakfast this morning, so hopefully that will help. I’ll have some fruit at work too, to keep blood sugar levels normal. Well, we’ll see how it goes, anyway.

my name is kira, and i’m a sugar-holic

That might sound trite, or even like a mockery of a “real” addiction, but it is the unshakeable truth.

I’m working really hard to eat well, to eat clean. And for the most part, it’s been easy & tasty doing so. I really enjoy cooking my own meals, and making sure they’re well-balanced. Fats and salts don’t tempt me, neither do starchy foods like potatoes and corn. See, it’s not natural sugars I crave. I want processed, white sugar.

I really and truly believe that refined sugar is addictive, and a quick Google search confirms that I am not alone in this belief. Most articles about overcoming sugar addiction are a little too granola for me (I actually like granola, but you know what I mean), but I get the basic thrust of it. The thing is, your body is programmed to want sugar. Overcoming that desire is like conquering yourself. Most sites advocate cutting it out entirely. As I have said on my other blog, I don’t want to do that. What I want is to kick that addiction’s ass, and to learn how to partake occasionally without totally succumbing. There are lots of people who do it, why can’t I?

This woman explains it well:

1. Your body should be in homeostasis, meaning your blood sugar is balanced.
2. When you eat refined sugar products, your blood sugar rises.
3. To get it back to normal, your pancreas releases insulin. Sometimes too much insulin is released, which gives you low blood sugar.
4. Then you feel hungry, or irritable, or tired, and you crave sugar. Return to #1.

I’ve had a high sugar diet for years, so my pancreas produces mass amounts of insulin, which gives me low blood sugar and makes me feel hungry and crave sugar. When I go through withdrawal, it’s because my body still thinks it needs to be making insulin even though it doesn’t, and so I get fooled into thinking I need sugar. I don’t.

So, I’m going off sugar for 7 days. That’s my decision. I am announcing it here, and will announce it again if I fail. No sugar, or sugar substitutes, for 7 days. I’ll continue to eat fruit, but no corn/potatoes/high fructose corn syrup/maltitol/aspartame/sucralose/SUGAR for 7 days. No Stevia, either. I want to get used to the taste of real food! After 7 days are up, I will have ONE small-sized treat with sugar. If I can make it through the following 32 hours without sugar again, I will consider myself in control of myself. If not, I’ll go without sugar for 14 days and try again!

So, to recap, big fitness changes started in the past week:

1. Running or other intense cardio for at least 45 minutes three times a week.
2. No refined sugar, period.

things i learned this morning

1. We have a worm/caterpillar/centipede or something similar infestation in our laundry room. Ew.
2. Apparently I haven’t been paying for my gym membership, and now can’t go back without paying for it.
3. Running outside is much, much harder than running on a treadmill.
4. Sometimes blenders explode for no good reason.
5. I really like Green Monster Smoothies.